Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Postcard That's Taped To The Freezer Reads Wish You Were Here.

So, wow. This is my last chance to blog in 2008.
Crap, I've gotta come up with something beautiful and touching, right?
Hmmm.
It's 10:19 on New Year's Eve, and i'm sitting on my mom's bed in boxers and an old hockey jersey. I could [and should] be out partying with my nearest and dearest, but i've been so dang lethargic this week, I don't even want to pretend to have the energy to go out... Especially since i couldn't find metallic leggings to go with my AMAZING outfit I had picked out for tonight. [[That's so typical me... I had this perfect outfit all set up, and then i realized I don't own half of what I wanted to wear.]]
Something deep... Still working on it...
I've not left the house hardly at all since Sunday, aside from going to the doctor's yesterday.
But Saturday I'm going with Rachelle to LION KING!!! At Gammage! I'm so excited... Partly because the show will be AMAZING and partly because I'm happy to spend time with one of my best friends. I'm a complete flake, so we don't usually hang out much, but we're both so incredibly happy and girly and giddy, it'd be a shame to not enjoy it together.
Then Saturday Sam's coming home! I won't see him until I get back Sunday, but still... I'm ready for him to not be six hundred and fifty miles away. Silly, I know. Completely irrational. And I love it. :D


Crap, I've gotta quit procrastinating and just come up with something to say before it's too late!

So, I've gained quite a few people in my life this year... Tara [you sweet thing, I still owe you a message], Sammie [I'm going to have to call you that now, since Sam-the-Facebook-Wife is not longer accurate], all my friends from CHT [especially the St. Johns ones, and the few I've stayed in touch with... Mostly just Jacob], Hair [I'm so glad I got over my irrational dislike of you, because you're kinda just really REALLY awesome], Leah [girlfran!], the college kid [Nick, and especially Samtheboy] and so many others. I know I'm leaving so many out, but seriously? How incredibly blessed am I that in just one year I can name off the top of my head at least six people that I love [yep, even you Hair. :)] and hope to keep around for many years to come.
I've lost people too... Some of them were those people that you're absloutely sure you'll never be without, you know those? There were three people I started the school year out with knowing I would never lose... Of those three, I am now even on speaking terms with one. Some of that was my fault, and some of it was for the better. But wouldacouldashoulda won't get my anywhere, right? All I can do is be grateful for what was there and learn from it.

I wish there was a way for me to be with all of you, new and old, right now. If there was a way for me to hold on to you when the clock struck, find some way to seal friendships with a kiss on the cheek and hope it stayed until next new year, I'd do it. But this is as close as I get, a blog that probably only three or six of you will read.
Somehow, that's enough. That's part of life, right? You reach who you can, and you learn to let go of those you can't.

So, New Year! Yay! Shay made me want to get into resolutions, so there I go!
New Cass:
Loves more deeply.
Forgives more easily.
Doesn't let the drama-rama get to her.
Smiles at strangers.
Reads important books.
Writes more often, and better.
Laughs more, and more deeply.
Learns to let go what needs to be let go...
But hold on more fiercely to what she doesn't want to lose.
Calls people back.
Drinks more water.


How's that for goals?

Oh dear... Now I think I'm just ranting.

So... Here's to the hope that we're all still around next New Year.

Love you all. So much.

3 comments:

Sam McDowell said...

ah ranting,
the key to a good blog.

good resolutions darling.
I especially am glad I met you too.

love-
samtheboy

Kara said...

It's weird, it doesn't seem like New Years, but..
Everything's different.
I can't explain it. It's good. Just..
change.
I love you. I meant to call you today after Bee was on the phone with you, but my house phone was dead.
I miss you. You have no idea.
I love you honey.

Tara Victoria said...

Ohh Cass, maybe it's cause I am like super emotional tonight or something but this post seriously made me tear up.. It was beautiful. I love you and I am so glad to have you in my life! =)