well, it wouldn't let me just edit the other one, so naturally i had to open an entire new blog.
i know it's a little early, but i really wanted to post the song of the week for next week. it's been on my mind a lot lately, and i'm not sure why. it's called 'awake' by secondhand serenade:
With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes,
I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do.
You're an angel disguised.
And you're lying real still, but your heart beat is fast just like mine.
And the movie's long over,that's three that have passed, one more's fine.
Will you stay awake for me?I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything, I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string, I just don't wanna miss anything.
I'm trying real hard not to shake, I'm biting my tongue,
but I'm feeling alive and with every breathe that I take,
I feel like I've won.
You're my key to survival.
And if it's a hero you want, I can save you. Just stay here.
Your whispers are priceless.Your breathe, it is dear.
So please stay near.
Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything, I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe, I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.
Say my name. I just want to hear you say my name.
So I know it's true... You're changing me. You're changing me.
You showed me how to live. So just say.
So just say...
That you'll stay awake for me.
I don't wanna miss anything. I don't wanna miss anything.
I will share the air I breathe, I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything
i just... i love it so much. rachelle gave it to me, and she's totally right... i can't wait to dance to this song, wearing the poofy dress with that guy. whoever he is.
but i guess i narrowed down the list tonight... i hate it when schoolgirl crushes are crushed before they have the chance to bloom.
juju really seems to be speaking to me lately... i just really hope i'm interpreting it the way it's meant to be interpreted.
otherwise, well... i'll probably blog about it.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
:]
"most conversations with parents go wrong because both parties are trying to have to come to an agreement. the truth is, talking shouldn't be about compromise, it should be about understanding the other person, and trying to get them to understand us, as opposed to fofrlcing our opinion on the other person."
a good friend of mine found that on a piece of paper in the hall.
and another dear friend said it was serendipitous.
but it's so true... if we spent less time speaking, and more time listening [i said listening, not hearing] then i really thing we could do alot for the world.
a good friend of mine found that on a piece of paper in the hall.
and another dear friend said it was serendipitous.
but it's so true... if we spent less time speaking, and more time listening [i said listening, not hearing] then i really thing we could do alot for the world.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Song of the Week... and more ephanies.
Taylor Swift's song... this song has been on repeat more than once this week:
You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you
(Died for you)
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
i've spent so long trying to define myself by something and someone. but that's not right! i have so much to offer, and so much to give... to someone in a relationship, or a friendship, or i even have so much to offer to myself. i haven't really been taking advantage of that.
if i could just learn to take advantage of my talents, of all the good things about me, i could do so much. i just need to learn to take care of myself and be my own wonderful, sweet girl.
or, as my dear friend morgan would put it...
you're just so amazing.
i'm really not being concited. but i think i just need some morale boosting.
i've had a tough week, mmmkay? but this one WILL be better.
:]
You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you
(Died for you)
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you
i've spent so long trying to define myself by something and someone. but that's not right! i have so much to offer, and so much to give... to someone in a relationship, or a friendship, or i even have so much to offer to myself. i haven't really been taking advantage of that.
if i could just learn to take advantage of my talents, of all the good things about me, i could do so much. i just need to learn to take care of myself and be my own wonderful, sweet girl.
or, as my dear friend morgan would put it...
you're just so amazing.
i'm really not being concited. but i think i just need some morale boosting.
i've had a tough week, mmmkay? but this one WILL be better.
:]
Saturday, January 19, 2008
PSA: Please Read
hey everyone.
i have alot to say, because a whole load of crap has gone down in the last few... hours, really.
let's just start off by saying, yep. you were all right.
i was stupid, and i said things and i did things that hurt people to no end. people who never did anything wrong but try to help me.
you all knew i'd never listen, but you tried anyway.
well, i finally learned the hard way.
and i am so sorry.
i should've believed every one of you. it's the hardest thing in the world to look back and realize that everything bad that has happened has been my own fault. i was too blind to realize... i was so sure that the entire world had turned it's back on me, that i was the only one who saw things clearly.
turns out i was the only one who really didn't see things the way they are.
i know, i know... news flash to cassidi marie.
but now i see things. i see everything.
and i am so sorry.
and now i'm done isolating people from myself just because i think i know what's best.
because at this point, the only thing i know is that i don't know anything.
i don't really know who i am anymore.
i think i've forgotten.
and i know i have no right whatsoever to say it,
but i need help. i need to find the me that i was before, and make it the me i am now.
i need to feel safe again.
but i need to feel safe with myself. i need to remake me into someone that i don't despise.
i feel kinda dirty.
i have alot to say, because a whole load of crap has gone down in the last few... hours, really.
let's just start off by saying, yep. you were all right.
i was stupid, and i said things and i did things that hurt people to no end. people who never did anything wrong but try to help me.
you all knew i'd never listen, but you tried anyway.
well, i finally learned the hard way.
and i am so sorry.
i should've believed every one of you. it's the hardest thing in the world to look back and realize that everything bad that has happened has been my own fault. i was too blind to realize... i was so sure that the entire world had turned it's back on me, that i was the only one who saw things clearly.
turns out i was the only one who really didn't see things the way they are.
i know, i know... news flash to cassidi marie.
but now i see things. i see everything.
and i am so sorry.
and now i'm done isolating people from myself just because i think i know what's best.
because at this point, the only thing i know is that i don't know anything.
i don't really know who i am anymore.
i think i've forgotten.
and i know i have no right whatsoever to say it,
but i need help. i need to find the me that i was before, and make it the me i am now.
i need to feel safe again.
but i need to feel safe with myself. i need to remake me into someone that i don't despise.
i feel kinda dirty.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
we sure are cute for two ugly people
juno was a fantastic movie. one of the best soundtracks i've heard in a while.
i just spent almost three hours looking for this XKCD. one of the best webcomics in existance, for the record.
so, i shortened my list last night.
ya know, that list of things you have to do before you die?
sometime i'll have to blog that.
but on it was 'take pictures in a bathtub with a big poofy dress on'
and volia!
i have too much fun when i'm babysitting. i know.
ya know, lately i've really come to appreciate people who are optimistic. i know, i'm the last person who should be able to say that, but sometimes you just need to keep the faith. and when people around you are happy you just really feel uplifted. and you never know when someone might need that boost, so i think my new year's resolution is to be more optimistic.
but at the same time, sometimes you just need to face the facts. truth is what it is. and sometimes, no matter how hard you try, some things are never meant to me. or, never meant to change. so i guess life is about finding the balance between reality and dreams.
you need dreams... they give you the hope you need to survive.
i dunno. i guess i'm just ranting.
wait a minute... isn't that what these things are for?
so, auditions for the musical are next week... it's Crazy for You, by Gershwin. one of my favorite songs ever is from that... 'someone to watch over me' and i think also 'they can't take that away from me' another one of my favvys.
wish me luck!
i just spent almost three hours looking for this XKCD. one of the best webcomics in existance, for the record.
so, i shortened my list last night.ya know, that list of things you have to do before you die?
sometime i'll have to blog that.
but on it was 'take pictures in a bathtub with a big poofy dress on'
and volia!
i have too much fun when i'm babysitting. i know.
ya know, lately i've really come to appreciate people who are optimistic. i know, i'm the last person who should be able to say that, but sometimes you just need to keep the faith. and when people around you are happy you just really feel uplifted. and you never know when someone might need that boost, so i think my new year's resolution is to be more optimistic.
but at the same time, sometimes you just need to face the facts. truth is what it is. and sometimes, no matter how hard you try, some things are never meant to me. or, never meant to change. so i guess life is about finding the balance between reality and dreams.
you need dreams... they give you the hope you need to survive.
i dunno. i guess i'm just ranting.
wait a minute... isn't that what these things are for?
so, auditions for the musical are next week... it's Crazy for You, by Gershwin. one of my favorite songs ever is from that... 'someone to watch over me' and i think also 'they can't take that away from me' another one of my favvys.
wish me luck!
Monday, January 7, 2008
What are Men to Rocks & Mountians?
For the record, i don't like jane austen.
i just don't.
it's nothing personal, i just don't find her literature as invigorating as the brontes. but leave it to my grandmother... she bought me a book about jane austen for christmas. and there's this quote from persuasion... it's about the difference between men and women when it comes to love. Anne Eliot says:
"I believe you the equal to every important exertion, and to every domestic forbearance, so long as- if i may be allowed the expression, so long as you have an object. i mean, while the woman you love lives, and lives for you. all the privilege i claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one, you need not covet it) is that of loving the longest, when existence or when hope is gone."
i dunno. guess i'm just down with that idea.
anyways. song of the week: comfortable, by john mayer. it totally fits those moments when you remember something about a past relationship, or a moment that comes to your thoughts when you least need it there... like when you're trying to start something with someone new, and then you have those flashbacks... it's always at the worst times, too...
I just remembered, that time at the market,
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, aisle 5
you looked behind you to smile back at me, crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave.
Can't remember, what went wrong last September
Though I'm sure that you'd remind me, if you had to
Our love was, comfortable and so broken in
I sleep with this new girl i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives
She says the bible is all that she reads and prefers that I not use profanity
[your mouth was, so dirty]
Life of the party, and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane
Our love was, comfortable and so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless or so they say, say
She thinks I can't see the smile that she's fakin'
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
[I loved you, grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect]
Our love was, comfortable and so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless... I'm not impressed.
I want you back.
anyway, song of the week. like i said. i'll be putting one up... well, weekly. just a song that fits my mood and stuff that's happened in the week.
no school today. whoo.
FALSE.
i just don't.
it's nothing personal, i just don't find her literature as invigorating as the brontes. but leave it to my grandmother... she bought me a book about jane austen for christmas. and there's this quote from persuasion... it's about the difference between men and women when it comes to love. Anne Eliot says:
"I believe you the equal to every important exertion, and to every domestic forbearance, so long as- if i may be allowed the expression, so long as you have an object. i mean, while the woman you love lives, and lives for you. all the privilege i claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one, you need not covet it) is that of loving the longest, when existence or when hope is gone."
i dunno. guess i'm just down with that idea.
anyways. song of the week: comfortable, by john mayer. it totally fits those moments when you remember something about a past relationship, or a moment that comes to your thoughts when you least need it there... like when you're trying to start something with someone new, and then you have those flashbacks... it's always at the worst times, too...
I just remembered, that time at the market,
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rode down, aisle 5
you looked behind you to smile back at me, crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave.
Can't remember, what went wrong last September
Though I'm sure that you'd remind me, if you had to
Our love was, comfortable and so broken in
I sleep with this new girl i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me, high fives
She says the bible is all that she reads and prefers that I not use profanity
[your mouth was, so dirty]
Life of the party, and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane
Our love was, comfortable and so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless or so they say, say
She thinks I can't see the smile that she's fakin'
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
[I loved you, grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect]
Our love was, comfortable and so broken in
she's perfect, so flawless... I'm not impressed.
I want you back.
anyway, song of the week. like i said. i'll be putting one up... well, weekly. just a song that fits my mood and stuff that's happened in the week.
no school today. whoo.
FALSE.
Friday, January 4, 2008
hey guys...
just because i'm horribly self centered, and think that someone out there might actually be interested in what i have to say... actually, i have this theory... someday, my teenage daughter will think, my mom has no idea, she was never a teen... and i'll be like BAM. check it.
top things you need to know about me...
1. i am different than probably anyone you've ever met. and i am absolutely down with that.
2. i dye my hair more than anyone should.
3. i don't think i fall into any particular genre or cliche. if i'm wrong, let me know.
4. i love theatre and drama. as in plays, not drama-rama drama.
5. i define moments in my life through music. i think i've got a song for everything that has ever happened to me.
6. i try not to put boundaries on myself or my thoughts. i don't peg myself into anything if i can help it.
7. i have the craziest, weirdest style ever. sometimes i can't even believe i wear what i wear. but i love it.
8. i am a total emotional retard. i get super attached super easy.
9. i love lyrics and quotes and letting other people's words that express my emotions.
10. i'm pretty sure i was a supernova in a past life... don't know which one, but i'm sure it was there.
11. i have a sick addictive personality. if you can get addicted, i probably am... shoes, music, people... not drugs though.
12. my favorite webcomics are a softer world and XKCD. i'll probably be posting more than a few. :]
13. i don't have a cell phone... a fact i'm hoping changes soon
14. i'm in love with the office...
15. my top ten sexiest men alive list includes john kranski and adrian grenier.
16. i am intensely loyal. like, to a fault. once i'm your friend, it takes quite a lot to get rid of me.
17. also intensely codependent.
18. i love all kinds of music. i'm not picky about it... my favvys include john denver, the veronicas, dashboard confessional, johnny cash... i just about cover the whole spectrum.
19. i love photography. taking pictures is one of my favorite hobbies.
20. my friends are what keep me going... my life raft. seriously.
21. i'm involved in alot at school... show biz [show choir] video productions [tv station] drama [theatre] academic decathalon [my family... some genius thing.]
22. i like brackets better than parentheses. suck it.
23. i'm everything... black and white and color and gray all at once. it all depends on which angle you're looking from
24. whatever you think i am, i'm probably the opposite. but you're probably right, too.
25. i'm sixteen.
26. i'm on facebook more than is probably healthy.
27. this list will probably expand.
top things you need to know about me...
1. i am different than probably anyone you've ever met. and i am absolutely down with that.
2. i dye my hair more than anyone should.
3. i don't think i fall into any particular genre or cliche. if i'm wrong, let me know.
4. i love theatre and drama. as in plays, not drama-rama drama.
5. i define moments in my life through music. i think i've got a song for everything that has ever happened to me.
6. i try not to put boundaries on myself or my thoughts. i don't peg myself into anything if i can help it.
7. i have the craziest, weirdest style ever. sometimes i can't even believe i wear what i wear. but i love it.
8. i am a total emotional retard. i get super attached super easy.
9. i love lyrics and quotes and letting other people's words that express my emotions.
10. i'm pretty sure i was a supernova in a past life... don't know which one, but i'm sure it was there.
11. i have a sick addictive personality. if you can get addicted, i probably am... shoes, music, people... not drugs though.
12. my favorite webcomics are a softer world and XKCD. i'll probably be posting more than a few. :]
13. i don't have a cell phone... a fact i'm hoping changes soon
14. i'm in love with the office...
15. my top ten sexiest men alive list includes john kranski and adrian grenier.
16. i am intensely loyal. like, to a fault. once i'm your friend, it takes quite a lot to get rid of me.
17. also intensely codependent.
18. i love all kinds of music. i'm not picky about it... my favvys include john denver, the veronicas, dashboard confessional, johnny cash... i just about cover the whole spectrum.
19. i love photography. taking pictures is one of my favorite hobbies.
20. my friends are what keep me going... my life raft. seriously.
21. i'm involved in alot at school... show biz [show choir] video productions [tv station] drama [theatre] academic decathalon [my family... some genius thing.]
22. i like brackets better than parentheses. suck it.
23. i'm everything... black and white and color and gray all at once. it all depends on which angle you're looking from
24. whatever you think i am, i'm probably the opposite. but you're probably right, too.
25. i'm sixteen.
26. i'm on facebook more than is probably healthy.
27. this list will probably expand.
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