26)I used to be willing to give up friends really quickly. I thought if we were fighting, they must not love me or be supportive. Now that I want friends, and I want to have the people back in my life, people won't believe that I've really changed and that I don't really need them.
27) I am more posessive of my friends than I am me. If you hurt me, I'll most likely forgive you fairly easily. But you screw with my friends... Be prepared for a death vengance and some really, really bad voodoo.
28) I want people to stick up for me. I always try to back people up if they want me to, and I wish people did that for me. Maybe I'm just a drama-monger, but I feel like if I'm a good friend and stand up for you, you should do the same for me. AKA be PISSED at people who hurt me.
29)I'm trying really hard to be more self centered. I don't mean like concited, but I want to become more in touch with myself. I always let things get to me, to affect me, but I want to become more aware of ME, to be more solid in my identity so I wn't be so affected by every little thing. Because honestly, I let so much get under my skin that I just shouldn't.
30) I am a firm believer that high school love can be forever love. Not so much with me, I guess, but I think that just because you're young doesn't mean you can't be really, really in love.
31) I believe in levels of love. I love my dog, I love Betsey Johnson dresses, and I love my boy, but DEFINITELY not in the same way. At the same time, even within emotional love, you can love people in different ways. There was a boy once, and I told him I loved him, and I did, but I loved him because he saved my life. I didn't love him in a way that would let me stay with him once he 'fixed' me, and because of that I think he always thought I was kidding. [I still kinda bring him around whenever I need 'saving'.]
32) I use people. In the worst way. But I don't really see anything wrong with that, probably because I use them in ways that are benificial to them. Some people I use to get my mind off myself, so they think I really am interested in what they have to say, which makes us friends. It makes them feel good, and it makes me feel good to help with their problems.
33) I have the lowest tolerance for pain of almost anyone I've ever known. I just flipped out when I cut my finger open. I'm SUCH a baby. =} Interestingly enough...
34) I always want something drastic to happen to me, like to get cancer or something. I know it's awful, but I've always wondered which of my friends would actually stick through with me. But whenever something does happen, it's bad, but not bad enough for me to tell about it. Like when I had an awful allergic reaction and my throat closed up? Bad, but my dad is a doctor so he just took care of it. Not even a hospital trip
35) I'm a dreamer. If I spent half as much time thinking about half as many things, I would get twice as much done. I think, think, think and nothing ever comes of it.
36) I'm not good at anything practical. I can act, and take pictures, and write essays... But I can't do math. You're everyday homemaker isn't gonna have to act out a scene every day, but she should know how to budget. So probably I won't be a homemaker... I'll be a traveling gypsy. =]
37) I'm VERY territorial. If something or someone is mine, probably back off. I'm not like that os much in relationships, but definitely with friendships. I HATE sharing people, or food. Sucks, because my 'person' is a total moocher.
38) I lie. All the time. I'm so awful at telling the truth, especially if it will get me in trouble. I'm trying to be better at it, and I think I'm making progress, but it still happens.
39) I used to be the most manipulative psycho I know. If I wanted to be 'Best Friends Forever' with you, it was probably because I was hella jealous and wanted to find your weaknesses and hurt you. Luckily, I've realized this and I'm trying to stop. But seriously... I was bad. Admittance is the first step, right?
40) I am afraid of things that I can't understand how they move. Like, snakes? I've never understood how they get around without legs, and I am more afraid of them than almost anything. Ditto spiders.
41) I'm not afraid of getting in front of people, or dying. I read somewhere those are the two most common biggest fears in people, but neither of them bother me. I love public speaking, and entertaining people. And death? Doesn't bother me at all. Sometimes [in the least emo way possible] I kinda look forward to it. It would be cool just stopping, you know?
42) I am a kissing ADDICT. It's awful, I know, and kinda irrational because I've only kissed like five guys in my whole life, but I love it. I love talking about kissing, pictures of kissing, quotes about kissing... And straight up doing it. It is my goal to have someone kiss me like Rhett did in Gone With The Wind. Also, I get kinda grouchy if it's been too long since I got action.
43) I'm awful at math. I hate, hate hate it and have flunked the last two math classes I took in school. Interestingly enough, I love higher math stuff. Doodling on my calculator, Triganomateratops, is the best, and I even kind of understand it. I <3 Fibbonachi and Pascal's.
44) I love playing dress up. I'll wear a homecoming dress to school on a regular day, and putting on high heels and make up puts as big a smile on my face as almost anything else.
45) I can't handle sad stuff. Just can't do it. Even if it's funny. Don't ever send me links to funny videos where someone gets hurt. And whatever you do, DON'T tell me about torture or people dying... I won't listen. Also, I'll be really scarred.
46) I go out of my way to not see dead bodies. Even if I go to a funeral, I don't EVER look at the corpse. They just freak me out so bad.
47) I'm not very original. I try to be, to be witty and cool all on my own, but I know I'm not. There will always, always be someone out there who's thinking or saying or wearing the exact same as me. I'm not bothered by this as much anymore.
48) I'm not allowed to respect people anymore. And by people I mean boys. As soon as I decide to respect, not like, but respect a guy, he turns out to be completely different from the person I thought. There was a guy who totally
49) God in his infinite wisdom gave me a mind that doesn't work in images. People can say totally disgusting things, and it won't even bother me. Because I don't see the image, I see it typed out. Like, in my head. My brain is a typewriter, and whenever anyone says or does something, I see it typed out on my typewriter. ie:
"Heather twisted the timer past the one minute mark to hear it go 'ding'." Also, I think in feelings. Like if Ben tells Ms. Abel he's gonna boil Ms. Abel's ovaries, my ovaries hurt. OOOWWWW!!!
50) I lurrrve notebooks. My friends and I have notebooks instead of actually passing notes on pieces of paper. I love them! Right now I've got like six... Heather, Haylee, Kali, Shay, Levi, and Ms. Abel. I like keeping the old ones and reading back on them.
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