Liberté

I wrote this last night, around midnight:

Tonight I climbed a mountian. It wasn't very big, and it took me a while, but I did it. My legs were pulsling, and I was breathing really heavily. I was a little worried I'd pass out after we reached the first overlook, and if it hadn't been for Sam I wou've turned back. But I kept going. We finally reached the top. I don't know how far it was, but it was steeper than anything I've climbed before. I was worried about looking like a wimp in front of Sam's... Tucker's friends, but I didn't. I made it up all on my own. And the feeling once I was on top of it... I felt empowered beyond belief. I had beaten myself, I had pushed hard enough.
If I climbed a mountian in those shoes, and not whine or quit, I can do anything. I can quit him. I didn't tell him for a reason. I wanted to get away from Tucker this weekend, and he found me where I wanted to be alone. But then I climbed a mountian. I wished he was beside me at the top, but he wasn't and I accomplished something on my own.

Directly written from my journal, html codes and all. =]
I feel so incredibly empowered from this weekend! It's not even close to being over, but I've done things. I've done things on my own, and for me alone. I went to a concert today, Stephen Ashbrook... And I got up and started dancing. I just danced!
These little things are silly, I know... But the point is, I'm doing them for me. I'm beginning to see myself as an individual person. A lot of it is Ms. Abel, but I think I came to a lot of it on my own. I can be me, be a whole person and not need the affection or attention of someone else just to be complete. I need to not use crutches like I have. I can do it all on my own, in cheap plastic walmart moccasins and with the wind whipping around me.
I can do it, with or without you.
Kali would be so proud of me.