finished!

so, i FINALLY finished my geometry course tonight.
it was absolutely ridiculous, can you just believe me. last night, our laptop chord got a short. then mom bought a new chord, so i could finish my last lesson today? um, yeah. the little metal part that you plug in? came off. if it wasn't for tucker's fancy
but it's kinda so weird that it's over you know? i've spent my whole summer on this, and it's just... over. i've spent my whole summer on this, and now it's just done.
granted, i've got a 92.2%, so it's not like i've wasted my summer.
plus i got what i wanted... this summer, with my sweetheart. i mean, sure, things definitely aren't the way they were before. but it's like they're better now... tucker has become my best friend. we've been together pretty much constantly, and i wouldn't trade that for all the rice in china. or the amazing amount of bucks you'd get from selling it.
anyway, tomorrow i'm taking my final, then leaving for a family reunion... i'll be gone until probably tuesday-ish? we'll see...

that part about my heart? well it belongs to you...

rainy day

*new header photo by emily horne*

so, yesterday really sucked. i just feel so DOWN, ya know? all kinda of grouchy and angry at people who doesn't deserve to be angry-at-ed.
i'm probably PMSing. but i hate it! i know it's not [entirely] my fault, but i guess i don't have to take it out on other people. i just need to chill. >.<
tucker's coming over today, so i'd better freakin relax before six.
on the bright side, i'll be totally done with algebra by thursday! that's the deadline, and the way things are going, i should still have an A. we've done three lessons this weekend alone, and he's pretty happy with where we are.

sigh. i need some sleep.
also, new pictures.
pictures take precedence. =D

life philosophy.

you hear quite often the phrase "i live my life with no regrets."
that's awesome! i'm really pleased with people who can face all the little 'curveballs' life throws at them with grace and aplomb.
but may i suggest another philosophy?
accepting your mistakes, and realizing them as such, and doing what you can to change them. i'm not saying to let them engulf you, but perhaps do more than pretend they never happened.
the same with weaknesses... don't just say 'this is how i am, how dare you try to change me??' constructive criticism shouldn't make you angry and defensive, you should take it at face value. if it's coming from someone who's opinion you don't value, or you have assessed their point and decided it isn't worth making the changes, don't throw it in their face. accept that they are concerned enough to try to help you, and then move on.
i have awful handwriting. it's terrible... i can't even read it half the time. does that mean i wallow in that and say 'this is how i am, i'll never be any better.'
no, it means i write notes and copy lyrics and write in a journal non stop, and try to make it better. it also means i rev up my typing skills, so my weakness won't matter so much.
why should anything else in life be different?

some people should not be allowed to have blogs...

and i am most definately one of them. what kind of loser blogs almost every day for two weeks straight? and it's not even like i have anything interesting to say, i just blabble. [which probably isn't even a word, now that i think about it...]
i hate having this feeling of so many many words inside of me, but by the time i type them out, it's useless. they're not half as exciting or meaningful as they were in my head. but as far as things that anyone would be interested in hearing, nothing is new in my life. i went to pioneer days in snowflake today, and got really sick... miss cass is most definately NOT a sun worshipper... more like a sun=diablo kinda deal.
and my family had this psycho luck streak today... we all entered our names in a drawing at C&K furnishings in snowflake, and we ALL. FREAKIN. WON. well, almost all of us... mom got a set of luggage, emilee got this huge cool clock, and sadie and i got camelbacks. we were a little bit totally excited.
and... um... i have an A in algebra, which is pretty awesome... and time consuming. i basically own tucker's soul... we're completing those squares for about three and a half hours a day. don't know how he does it.. even *I* get sick of being around me that much.



this is my bathroom... that's how desperate i am for something interesting to say. haha.

weird like us review, some dreams...

anyways, that's my splurge for the day... i just finished this awesome book, "weird like us: my bohemian america" by ann powers, and it was... insightful. for some reason, it felt like a major anti-drug, birth control campign, but i know it was the exact opposite. it was an honest, this-is-life memoir from a lady who lived in san francisco in the 1980s, in the heart of emerging bohemia. and ya know, i've realized: that is an amazing, independent lifestlye. and there are people who are definately made for it... but i am not one of them. i'm not the kind of person who can live without security. sure, there are definately aspects i'd love to incorporate in my life, but... you'd have to read it to really understand, i think. i most definately recommend it.
there's this quote in it that... completely describes how i feel.
"it's this great Marx quote; he's saying how he loves his wife, becuse he's been with her so long, he knows where every wrinkle came from. you have so much history with someone that you have marked each other. not just, i put a ring on your hand, or i hit you with a frying pan and you've got this big dent in your head. but you've marked each other in so many different ways."
some little girls, they dream of marrying a tall, dark one, or a hansome, blonde apollo, other girls are just looking for someone who can play a musical instrument, or a sport. me? i always knew i'd marry someone i grew up with. i want someone who i don't have to tell my life story to, they've been along for every step of the way. true, that's a bit difficult with how much i've moved around, but that has always been my ideal of a perfect guy.

i couldn't go to school today, as my tutor was in flagstaff =[.
so instead of dreaded algebra, i played dress up all day. it was kinda awesome.

yesterday was a blast! despite the fact that i spent most of the day doing math, tucker and i hung out the whole day. we did algebra, went to lunch, did algebra, then went to the park. oh, and hunter's t-ball game. [how freakishly domestic is that?!?] then for FHE the fam went to snowflake for emilee and sadie. they're in Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. it's gonna be awesome... if anyone is interested in going, let me know and i can give you info.
life is pretty awesome right now... justin, haylee, levi and teanna stopped by a little earlier. i was supposed to chill with alex today, but i didn't get a call, so i guess we'll just have to try again sometime. tomorrow [my last day of freedom] i'm chillin with blake and ms. abel, and i am SO PHYCHED. =]

"Chivalry is not dead. It's been gangstomped by the female sex."

... and don't i know it. so many girls freak out if a guy tries to open their door, or tell them they look nice. it's pathetic, ladies! they're not demeaning you, they're respecting you. please appreciate it! sometimes it feels like any good or nice in a guy is completely stomped out by the time they meet someone who likes to be treated like a lady.
A good friend of mine, Wade Crossman, read one of those 'wait for the guy who will [insert sweet little action/ phrase/ gift here]'and rewrote it. this is what he, and i, think a girl should be looking for in a boy she's willing to wait for.

Wait for Him:

Wait for the guy who is honest about his emotions.
Because he'll be honest with you.

Wait for the guy who is scared to hold your hand,
Because you mean the world to him.

Wait for the guy who smiles when you walk in,
Because he's been missing you.

Wait for the guy who admits he doesn't know everything,
because that's best left to you.

Wait for the guy who can tell when you're having a bad day,
because he'll be there for you when you need him.

Wait for the guy who can find you in a crowded room,
because he'd rather be with you than anyone else.

Wait for the guy with a heart that's been broken,
because he'd give anything for yours.

He loves you, and he's waiting for you, too.

phew.

what a day... what a beautiful day. :]
started out nasty [and by started, i mean around 1 am] with a totally fun emotional freak out. but by around 1:30, i was good. more than good, i was peaceful.
then i got to sleep in [oh happy day!] then went to see my great grandpa, bob hanna.
that was... a mixed bag. i love my grandpa bob way way much, but this will probably be the last time i see him. i guess his last great words to me were
"doll, screw the looks. go straight for the checkbook."
he is a great man.
anyway, then i saw 21 [again!] and guess who's in love with jim sturgess. somethin about that boy.. yum. yum. yum.
dad and i basically just had a chill out day... lots of heart to hearts. i guess i'm just into those today. :]
so, i'm feeling a lot better about life, the universe and everything. i'm chill, i've gotten things worked out, and i'm ready to come home.
and if you're taking the time to read this, then i DEFINATELY want to hang when i get there.
i'm a little worried about math... i'm not sure how i'm going to get everything done in time. but as my tutor would say it, have a little faith.
we're going to go watch BUCKET LIST.
expect a good review.

day with rachelle. :]

marry me a little...

You can be my best friend, I can be your right arm.
We'll go through a fight or two-- No harm, no harm.
We'll look not too deep, We'll go not too far.
We won't have to give up a thing, We'll stay who we are.
Right? Okay, then...I'm ready! I'm ready now!
Someone-- Marry me a little, Love me just enough.
Warm and sweet and easy, Just the simple stuff.
Keep a tender distance So we'll both be free.
That's the way it ought to be.
my alex song. :]

seriously, though... sometimes i wish i could just be done. i want to have someone that i know i can lean on... someone that i know will never go away. i seem to have a hard time holding onto people like that. either i mess up, or they mess up, or the timing just isn't right, but no matter what, i still want it. sure, i love the whole footloose and fancy free, while the sunshines. then the clouds come in...

EFY was AMAZING!!! next blog will be filled with pics, promise. :D